Steph's Mission Year March 2009 Newsletter

This year is about sacrifice. I’ve made a commitment to give my time, my energy, my love. The more I make these sacrifices, the more I realize I am also sacrificing my desires, my comforts and even people I hold very deep in my heart.

But once I empty these things from myself for the sake of others, for the sake of our Lord, I learn how He provides in our times of need. I would have never known the Lord would spare me a few hours of rest one evening last week when I really did NEED it, and I would have never looked at those hours in such a way of being truly a gift and blessing from the Lord.

It gets harder though. Yes time and energy is sacrificed. Specific eating habits and passions have been put on hold, and desires and wants are shoved under the table for the time being. Many times saying ‘No’ to people isn’t an option, and it isn’t until I get completely and totally exhausted (and just want to run in the opposite direction) that I tend to reflect. It’s those times I realize I haven’t talked to anyone from home in a month and the gap of disconnection is increased. It’s those times where I totally forget how to physically take care of myself, whether it’s how to be able to look 'nice’ when wanting to, how to fit some exercise into my schedule and even forgetting how to fix my hair. All these things have left me.

Even though these feelings seem to be everyday there’s at least some part of the day, ok, probably week, in between such ‘vulnerability’ where I feel so satisfied in God, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. He provides. Our Lord-Yeshua, Christ, Jesus, Creator, Pappa- always provides…we just have to let him.

My daily struggle is ‘do I satisfy the flesh, or satisfy my God?’ But by sacrificing I’m learning what it really means to depend on Him. He really is all I have and it’s not a choice to depend on anything or anyone else now. I encourage you to reflect on the things you are sacrificing this month. Be reminded that if you solely depend on Him, He will provide. He always does.

“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” - John Piper

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